Insecure Writer's Support Group:Overwhelmed
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My road trip to Boston at the end of August arrived just in time to
relieve me from the constant head banging on the wall between me and my
writing, blogging and freelance career. The permanent knot on my forehead,
bald patches and a jaw that clicks every time I open my mouth has transformed
me into a monster you might catch in the dark alleyways of Gotham City.
I overdosed on advice in writing magazines, on writing-related websites
and blogs. If you peek through the windows, you catch me wandering around the
house strung out, too jittery to sit down at my laptop. As an information
junkie, I hoarded writing techniques, strategies and prompts. I shoved them into
every available space in my writing toolbox, reminding me of an overly
prepared-style of packing. Overstuffed. I would sit on the lid to force it shut
if it weren’t for the motivational quotes spilling over the sides keeping me
from latching the damn thing.
Then I come across an article contradicting the notion blogging is an
effective marketing tool for fiction writers. Does that mean I don’t HAVE to
blog? Because that is exactly how it feels. It feels like I HAVE to write a
blog to build my platform. The whole process is joyless.
In the beginning, I enjoyed the few blogs I followed. I made great
writing friendships and found support on days when I wanted to jump into an
empty grave and wait for someone to throw the dirt on me. Then, my list of
followed blogs grew. My friendships circle widened. My time for blogging had to
be shared with more people.
The worst part?
Completing the mandated blog visitations to drive traffic to my site,
coming up with topics to post about and writing the posts put so much pressure
on me that I stopped writing my fiction. The writing life I was building
dictated when I needed to make myself available for public consumption. I felt
the control slip. The paranoia started to sink in. It felt like my skin was
burning from the magnifying glass held by all the readers hovering over me.
“What is she doing now?” “She didn’t finish her story?” “This post reads like
something she might’ve pulled out of her ass.”
Keeping up with the blogosphere was one of the major roads to making it
as an author. Then the thoughts of not writing anymore swirled around me.
Riddle me this: how does one build a writing platform, but not produce any
writing?
My instinct? Cut and run.
So, I did.
I went to Boston to see family, take naps and drink good beer. I pushed
writing out of my mind for as long as I could. My anonymity felt restored. That
is until I got back home and everything I left punched me in the face the
minute I sat down in front of my laptop. And I found myself in the exact same
place. Pissed, confused, unhappy and unproductive.
Check out the posts from other writers below.
Comments
Great post.
Thanks for sharing.
HMG
It'll get better.
Guess what, your blog readers will be the first to understand this need!
By the way, I LOVE your writing style,
Lxxx
The support is invaluable. Who else gets this but other writers?
Yeah, if you follow every bit of advice it will suck all the life out of your writing and your voice.
And P.S. I recently blogged about getting my armpits waxed, so yeah, I've fully come out of the closet as far as pulling posts out of my arse. I highly recommend it. Totally freeing. ;)
Our corner of the blogosphere is unique, though. We all have writing to get done so there's ample space to take off and work alone and a generous forgiveness when we fail to return for three or four weeks. You don't have to blog and you shouldn't if it doesn't make you happy. I think in 2012 we're going to hear a very sharp turn around on this stance that writers have to have online platforms that includes blogs and tweets and facebook and whatever. I think the message is going to change, not a 180 but a little. I hope.
This is why I don't do blog hops or memes. Some look fun, but then I don't keep up and well.. they fall to the wayside because I would rather write. That is why I am blogging after all and what my readers want to know/see.
Great post! I'm a new follower and my name is Mel. I'm an insecure writer. ;)
I found you through the blog hop.
after this campaign i joined, i'll be taking a break from the everyday myself
blogging is feedback, relating, commiserating and sharing
just like w/everything else, read a lot and apply whats best for you!
thanks for the read =)
I guess there's a balance, and if you're not enjoying blogging, then it becomes a job. I was told by my publisher to get my butt online and build a platform before my first book was released. Now, I don't do much with other social networks, so blogging is my thing. Once I began posting about my passions, which often have nothing to do with writing, I found my groove and I've never looked back. That said, I will be cutting back soon to write my next book.