Procrastination

It's like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself.

Overwhelmed. Crushed. Devastated. Rocked. Drowning.

My head is full of white noise. I can't hear anymore. My frustration is rising, spilling over. AHHHHH! Destruction! Delicate things squeezed in my hand, then thrown against a wall. I want to hear them break apart, see them in pieces.

Perfect. Impeccable. Precise. Polished.

The ideal is bright and shinny. I am drawn to it. I want to possess it. Just as I have convinced myself that it is obtainable, reality lurks out of the darkness and destroys it. The vultures picking and defecating on what is left. People walk by full of pity gazing at the sun scorched remnant.

Exist. Emerge. Arrive. Endure.

Deep breath in, and let it out slowly. Repeat. Lowered expectations=solution? I read that Sandra Cisneros does things that she is afraid of. I thought, "What a novel idea!" I wanted to live this philosophy. Then, fear got in the way. Fear is an annoying little sister. It gets it's sticky fat little fingers around all your things. Then, you can't find anything. Things are broken and ruined. Listen up! My strong will and devotion will kick your ass!

Some days, doing "the best we can" may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn't perfect-on any front-and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else. ~ Fred Rogers

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Insecure Writer's Support Group:Overwhelmed

Image
Source My road trip to Boston at the end of August arrived just in time to relieve me from the constant head banging on the wall between me and my writing, blogging and freelance career. The permanent knot on my forehead, bald patches and a jaw that clicks every time I open my mouth has transformed me into a monster you might catch in the dark alleyways of Gotham City. I overdosed on advice in writing magazines, on writing-related websites and blogs. If you peek through the windows, you catch me wandering around the house strung out, too jittery to sit down at my laptop. As an information junkie, I hoarded writing techniques, strategies and prompts. I shoved them into every available space in my writing toolbox, reminding me of an overly prepared-style of packing. Overstuffed. I would sit on the lid to force it shut if it weren’t for the motivational quotes spilling over the sides keeping me from latching the damn thing. Then I come across an article contradicting the no
Read more

Nomenclature: Help Name My Characters!

Image
November 1, the start of NaNoWriMo, arrives in 11 days. The planning of my amateur sleuth mystery novel gains clarity and complexity with each new technique and strategy Susan Meier presents in her class .  A photograph of the hardcopy of my ideas, notes and inspirational quotes are above. The rest of my scaffolding is sitting on my computer.  There's just one problem...my characters are nameless.  I need help to decide on the best moniker for them. So, I hand over to you, my readers,  the privilege of naming my characters. Of course, I plan to fill my novel with many more characters. These three are the only ones developed enough at this point.  Some quick background: I drew inspiration from two famous literary characters and a notorious historical figure. I've  included important character traits as well as the meaning of each name to help in the process.   Just write your choices for the three characters in the comments below. Thanks for you help!    
Read more

Inspirational Blogfest: Wake Up Your Writing Genius

Image
Source Today Summer Ross is hosting an inspirational blogfest. Check out the details and participating bloggers here . Take a moment and respond to the following writing prompt to explore your creativity. Or learn more about your main character by letting them respond to the prompt. Enjoy! Point to a word or a sentence in any text and write for 10 minutes about whatever you or your character associate to.
Read more